summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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