I am puke
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
