I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
