how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
