I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
