i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
