Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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