The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
