WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
