i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
