girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
