So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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