This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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