I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize