I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
it was like his penis was on wheels.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
