mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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