She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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