either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
