You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
