doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so let's talk penis.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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