We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
