I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
