My brain says no but my pants say off.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize