one might say we're banned from that church
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize