All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
