im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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