put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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