At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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