that's an acceptable place to lick
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
