I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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