i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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