you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it glows. i had to have it.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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