There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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