so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
