my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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