he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
