seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
