Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I lost the right to judge tonight
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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