You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
