You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
