Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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