I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize