gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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