I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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