dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
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I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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