I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
