I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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