I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
