So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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