Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
