Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think my fart just growled at me.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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