I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm just crazy horny about you
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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