You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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