its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
