There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
