PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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