a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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