trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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