was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
