can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
