we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
