but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
