return my video game
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
