Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
