...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
