Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
