Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
