I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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